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September 15, 2004Techniques for CopingLast Thursday, I mentioned that I was all ready to type up a piece on ways of coping when you have to move on when I noticed a curious search request on the sitemeter. Well, I finally put it together. It follows. It’s a curious thing how different folks deal with situations. Since the end of my most recent relationship, I’ve tried to fill this site with upbeat, fun stories, items that bring a smile, anything to keep from touching that tender spot where so many of my contemporary thoughts linger. It’s an easy trick to pull off some times. At other times, the strongest of wills are overwhelmed. One could try drinking, and that works for a little while. There is always the danger of drunk dialing the very person you’re trying to drink off your mind and that rarely helps. More often than not, drinking someone off your mind results in the least with a you waking up several hours later with the same thoughts piled onto a headache, a bad case of cottonmouth, and an overall malaise. Yeah, that helps. Many folks turn to God and go to Him in prayer. While it is certainly advisable to do so, it has been my experience that oftentimes that will help you feel a deal better. However, I believe God many times sits back and allows us to show how we react to challenges as part of giving us Free Will. He wants to see how we choose to deal with hurt. For me, I know He's there to give me a hand if I need it, but part of dealing with challenges is to discover just how strong you are. Still, Momma told me a long time ago, "God helps those who help themselves." I'm afraid too many people think they can get down on their knees and pray, and think everything is going to be healed with a magical wand. Not likely. It takes effort. His help is there, but He made you strong to help yourself as well. The main point is how we deal with these kinds of situations. A good mix for me has been a number of things. Continuing to write about unrelated subjects has helped even if it at times feels hollow. Spending time with friends is always beneficial. Sure there are moments when you zone out; thinking about that person yet again. Just concentrate on catching back up on the conversation and joining back in. My friends have been incredibly helpful to me lately. Reading has helped me incredibly; particularly a subject completely unrelated. My tome of the past couple of weeks has been Carl Sandburg's “Abraham Lincoln: The War Years, Volume I.” It’s a tough read, but definitely a different subject. And, as an added bonus, that challenging of a read will make you more knowledgeable and intelligent—think of it as a workout for the brain. The final activity I’d recommend is good, vigorous exercise. Now, in my situation, this is a little more difficult since training and working out is so central to my recent amour’s life. Regardless, the benefits you get from it are amazing. Remember when we first learned about stress? They always introduced us to “eustress” simultaneously. Maybe not in all cases, but I’d wager in more than you think, that the perfect antidote to most stress is eustress. Oh, and another thing…after going for a run, grab your pen and paper and go for some BBQ. Hey, it works for me. Now, it’s time to go run. I’ve got to be ready for church at 7. Comments
Always pray, but you should definitely go for BBQ and make it McClards in Hot Springs! Posted by: Illuminn at September 15, 2004 10:17 PMPost a comment
 
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