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July 25, 2004Programming NoteLong time gentle readers have asked why I seldom regale them with amazing tales of the quest to find "The One" like I used to include regularly. Well, the answer is really rather simple. I have long ceased to have the luxury of anonymity--not that I have ever had any as I've always signed with my real name and my yahoo profile is prominently linked, among other things. More accurately, I've recently learned of a number of local readers from within this new social circle. To wit, one young lady Friday night upon remembering where we had met (on the AYPN Buffalo River trip) remarked, "Oh yeah! You're the writer!" For someone who has met a number of fellow bloggers and readers, one might not expect me to still be so shocked by the idea that there are others who know of this site and it's content. Still, I was. Besides the fact that a blogger is a bit of a narcissist in the first place, what with us laying out all of our personal life and thoughts onto the world wide web for any yokel searching for any number of strange things to read and comment on. Yet, when the locals find you, particularly those you may not be close with but see regularly, it changes the way you think about laying everything out there. Presenting my thoughts on ideas, notions on relationship concepts, and deeper held beliefs, I don’t have many problems with having available to the public. My private, personal life is another issue altogether. Allow me to illustrate with a story. Shortly after learning of my new gentle readers here in Little Rock, I was strolling through the charming Hillcrest neighborhood of Little Rock. A small group of friends and I were gathering for drinks at Ciao Baci a little later, and I was rather early. We’ve had a rather mild early summer and I decided some fresh air and a stretch of the legs would be an ideal way to idle some time until the rest of my friends arrived. As I reached the turning point of my little walk, I heard the giggles and excited chat of several young ladies having dinner on a restaurant patio shrouded in the shade of several old oak trees. This is nothing remarkable and, actually, my first musings wandered around the thought that summer evenings and moments like that was one of the many reasons why I love Little Rock so dearly. But then, an eerily familiar voice cried out in glee, “Oh my gosh—that was me!” I couldn’t see the speaker, but I quickly glanced around to see if I could recognize her car anywhere nearby. If you’ve read the Wild Night series in the archives, you’ll remember NLF. It may not have been her, but I was suddenly forced to face the possibility that a friend of hers had just told her about the stories. I’ve reviewed the stories several times and I stand by the accounts. It’s from my point of view, but it is accurate. It should also be noted that I did not publish them until months had passed. The memory of that night remains so clear for two reasons; one because it finally pushed me over the edge to start a blog to chronicle such bizarre tales, and because the morning after was when the space shuttle Columbia disaster happened. If there ever were to be a Part IV, it would include what happened from leaving the club to me leaving the next morning and watching the coverage of the shuttle the rest of the day. Don’t look for it anytime soon. You can read all about it in the SSG book or wait for the movie. I may have mentioned before that I have a complex code to identify the different folks discussed on this site and with one (maybe two) exceptions, I’ve never adjusted it. A few close and trusted friends know the code, and even they get confused sometimes. The characters and those familiar with the stories, if they read them, will know whom I’m talking about. For example, the Friend With Toys mentioned below knows exactly who she is and I imagine she’ll read about it today or tomorrow and I’ll get an email. She’s also one of the few who knows the code. When folks in that small town where I used to live first discovered me, I almost hung up my hat. That resolve lasted three days. Heh. Since then, I’ve taken greater measures to keep anonymity protected unless told otherwise and any dating escapades have been tales from the past. By no means does this mean that your humble SSG has stayed away from any dating, dalliances, discreet meetings, etc. Sure I could have told you about the moment I had the opening to go for the kiss in the past few months with a comely young lass and opted to give a hug. Or opting for the kiss and considering the invitation to sleepover. Or the long distance crushes that are more fulfilling mentally and in some ways emotionally, most likely because there is the safety net of distance. Much of this has been on my mind since discovering the newly acquired local gentle readers. The folks who I see at the parties and networking events and at the river. They nonchalantly remark at times, “this isn’t going to wind on your blog/site, is it?” or something to the effect. More times than not, I've performed a doubletake, unaware that they had been to the site. At first, it was one who asked not to be identified, and then she told a friend, and then another, and by now I have no idea how many folks are visiting that I know in person. For my fellow bloggers, a word of advice—folks who know you personally, unless they’re rather close, very seldom email you or comment. It’s part of blogging that you either deal with or you hang it up. For my local gentle readers, drop me an email or leave a comment sometime, and if you don't mind, try to keep the site to yourself a bit. I’m not the only who has dealt with these issues and recently some of my fellow bloggers are grappling a bit with the same things. The Warrior Princess discusses it here, BreakUpBabe had a moment of indiscretion, Jezebel had a big problem, even my old pal the Yeti was hit by an ex-girlfriend who read a post, and many are familiar with Acidman’s ex-wife introducing print outs from his blog as evidence in custody hearings. Try explaining a blog to an old judge in Effingham County, Georgia. Not to mention his ‘retirement’ because of his site (Coming to an issue of People soon!). Still, we continue writing, laying out our lives, thoughts, and ideas for the whole world to read and judge. Some folks think we're weird and may even question our sanity. Hell, I even feel a little odd about the notion of being narcissistic and a kind of virtual exhibitionist. Still, we all have our own reasons. Some write for validation. Some of us write to help us write a book. Some write to save their sanity and lives. Regardless of our reasons, it amuses us and we're tickled pink that others are amused, too. (Now really, what would some gentle readers do to amuse themselves for a few minutes at work?) In any event, I’ve moved away from the niche I originally intended to fill in the blogosphere. There’s mixed feelings there, but my humble audience is larger than it was as a niche specialist. However, lately it seems as if I have abandoned that niche altogether. We’ll bring more of it back. Shoot, I need the practice and the material so I can keep the book moving along. Finally, it’s been awhile since I said thanks to the many fellow bloggers, commenters, and gentle readers. In lieu restating what has already been said, I’d ask you to take a look back at this post. The same still holds.
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