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April 24, 2004Being UsheredUsher: — ORIGIN Old French usser ‘doorkeeper’, from Latin ostium ‘door’. Besides Dad's scare, this week has been populated also by one of my absolute best friend's weddings. Most of you have probably seen "My Best Friend's Wedding" before. If you could blend the two characters of George and Mike into one character that would have been me and TC is my dear Jules. This is the second very close girl-friend I have had get married and the first wedding I have attended/participated. Jules had called me up a few days after the NH primary to see if I would be an usher, explaining that she and the groom had discussed me standing with her and thought that I might feel a little odd and that Little Rock might not be quite ready for that kind of a wedding yet. I concurred on both points. So I ushered in the guests, lit candles, turned off house lights, and ushered the mother of the bride from the sanctuary. It was an honor and a pleasure to be a part of her special day and I look forward to seeing her and her new husband through many happy years. What was a bit sad to me about the wedding is that Jules and I were the only ones from the old "crew" there. At one time, we had a great circle of friends with a core of about six of us. Jules and I were the original two members. The "crew" had it's first formal fissure after "the incident" of January '03 of NL and I. Within a week, NL had crossed Jules and she became the second fissure. Different parts of the original six still socialize, but Jules has steadily drifted away from everyone, and I avoid any contact with NL. So last night, I made the obligatory courtesy social rounds at the reception and being finished sat down at a table by myself and waited for the part where we used to throw rice, but now blow bubbles as the bride and groom dash to a waiting car. It was more than a little sad to me that I was the only one of this original crew there. I don't recall, but I'm sure at one time we all would have imagined that all of us would be there, laughing, dancing, celebrating together. Instead, the original members of the 'crew' had dwindled to a new bride and an usher sitting at a table alone, feeling both happy for his friend and sad for the loss of old friends. During the toast, I received a call from someone I had not met before but had corresponded with a time or two. She and some friends were heading to a local club to hear a popular band play. I agreed to join them. Arriving I found that one of her friends was an acquaintance of mine from almost a year ago. I asked one of the others in the group how well they knew my new friend and she answered, "Not well at all." It struck me that others had said the same thing about this new friend also. It occurred to me that maybe this is just another part of life, that friendships come and go and the few that stick are the ones to hold onto as tightly as you can. There are those folks who can recite the history of your friendship and there are those whom you just met 'through these folks.' Life takes a lot of strange twists and turns, exceptionally strange and twisty in my life. It brings new people to you just as others are fading away. It was because of a friend that I first became involved in the Clark campaign and found myself in New Hampshire and New York City. I made many friends in that time. One of those friends called Wednesday, shortly after Daddy was released from the hospital. He contemplating making a race and wondered if I would join his team. He will make a decision with his family today and I may well be back on my way to New York. Reflecting on all this, I began to think that maybe our friends also serve as our ushers through life. Opening doors and helping to guide us to places we ought to be. Last night, I served as an usher and became thankful for all those friends who have ushered me. Comments
First of all I wanted to thank you for the really, really sweet e-mail you sent me, it was much appricated. I am so pleased that your dad is home now, its a scary time, its not the same, but I panic every time the phone goes after about 8pm because I am worried about my ill grandad. Your friend getting married is such a special event, but in many ways it means the end of an era, and it can be sad being the only one of a crowd that is there, sometimes feels like you have been left beind. Hehe, about your town not being ready for you being with her (kept me amused), congratulations on being an Usher, they must really think alot of you :) Posted by: Chloe at April 25, 2004 04:51 PMThat last part of this post really had me saying "Wow". You have such a way with words. So true, and I tell ya the friends I still have with me now (from jr./sr. high) I treasure more than anything else. The Fall of the House of Usher is one of my favorite Poe tales. Some how his tale and yours seem related. Just Damn! Posted by: Dax Montana at April 26, 2004 08:53 AMPost a comment
 
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