A Single Southern Guy in America

April 20, 2004

'That Call'

It's strange to get 'that call.' The one you always fear may come, that on a few occasions you wonder about how you'll react. You thank God and fate that you haven't had and hope to never get, but at some level always know will come someday. Some of 'those calls' bode worse than the others. There have been times when I received one of 'those calls' and was ultimately relieved that it wasn't a worse call.

For my family, 'the call' has always sat in the back of your mind; never quite out of sight, never quite welcome, but always there, and over the years, tolerated. My daddy has been a firefighter for almost thirty years. He first joined the department after three families received their fateful calls after an icy night of firefighting led to a brick wall collapse and took three of Little Rock's bravest to their final reward.

My sister and I got one of 'those calls' this morning. As Daddy slept at the fire station last night, he suffered a stroke. The call came this morning around 11. As my sister listened on the phone and her eyes filled with tears, I knew immediately, that we were getting one of 'those calls.' They are terrifying. I wish I could build a world where no one ever had to fear or experience another one of those calls again. I can't and none of us can.

If one can dare use the term 'fortunate' in this setting, I think we can. As I learned clearly today, there are two kinds of strokes--one caused by blockage and the other by hemorrhaging. Daddy had a small vessel on the left side of his brain that was blocked causing dizziness, nausea, a slight weakening of his right side, and, curiously enough, an inability to control his emotions. He has had some sort of medicine administered which should correct the blockage and the doctor, as of this afternoon, believes he will make a complete recovery. Aside from the slight weakening of the right side (apparently temporary), he has all of his motor skills fully functioning, his speech is unaffected. With some rest and a little rehabilitation and some effective medicines, he should be back to normal very quickly. We were fortunate and lucky that it was small, of this type, and treated fairly quickly. He is at the hospital tonight, and we hope they will release him tomorrow.

I am up at 1 in the morning writing this missive because I cannot sleep even though I'm exhausted, my mind spins with the first real fear of life without my Dad. The fear is because of the uncertainty and the terror that washes over you after you receive one of 'those calls' and before you know how serious the situation is. It is a catalyst that grabs you, shakes you violently and screams out that this is a possibility and, I suppose, an eventuality that you have to reckon with.

And maybe the most terrifying is the realization that it is not a possibility that you are ready to deal with at all.

Posted by Adam H at April 20, 2004 01:18 AM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (1)
Clearing Datum linked with My heart and prayers go out to you

Comments

I'm sending many, many positive thoughts to you and your Dad.

Posted by: Moxie at April 20, 2004 03:28 AM

I'm sorry to hear that you've went through one of 'the calls'. We'll be keeping you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: Pam at April 20, 2004 06:54 AM

Sending good thoughts across the miles

Posted by: UptownGirl at April 20, 2004 08:23 AM

I've had one of those calls, too, and my prayers are wtih you and your family. I don't believe you are ever ready for that situation and, when it happened to me, the only thing that got me through was my faith and continuous prayers.

Posted by: Denise at April 20, 2004 09:22 AM

Oh Adam!! I'm so sorry you had to be on the recieving end of 'that call'. My prayers are with you and your family!

Posted by: Queen Goddess at April 20, 2004 10:35 AM

I am glad things are working out for you dad. Those calls do not get any easier as time goes by. I am now 56 and have received a share of those calls, but even worse was when I was the person making the call. I think life's greatest test is handling those calls and knowing someday that call will be about you.

Posted by: James Old Guy at April 20, 2004 12:50 PM

I know what you mean. I'm having trouble coming to terms with the fact that I will likely outlive my mother.

It may seem like a basic philosophy, but not when you don't want to accept it.

Give "daddy" a hug from me, and thank God that you have a good one.

Posted by: Key at April 20, 2004 02:56 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Be strong and positive now. Enjoy every minute with him. Panic and grieve after he's gone. How do I know? Been there, done that... and going through it again now with my mom.

It's really important to get out of bed, pull your socks up and treat life as normally as possible for as long as you can. It'll be much less stressful on your dad that way.

I'll be thinking of you!

Posted by: Omnibus Driver at April 20, 2004 04:36 PM

My warm thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

We had one of "those calls" with my dad last summer. It is the most horrible feeling isn't it? Who said this was part of "growing up"? Luckily for us, he gave us a bigger scare than was necessary based on his actual condition. It was a real wake up call for me - since then I've never missed an opportunity to tell people what they mean to me.

Posted by: Angela at April 20, 2004 06:30 PM

i'm thinking of you.... i've had one of those calls recently as well.... you're in my prayers.

Posted by: h at April 20, 2004 09:07 PM

..all the best to you and your Family, Adam..

Posted by: Eric at April 21, 2004 11:16 AM

My thoughts and prayers are with your family. Sending so much love your way. ((HUGS))

Posted by: Tam at April 21, 2004 07:48 PM

I am so sorry, thats so horrible and you must be having such a tough time at the moment. Just take one day at a time and try and stay strong, as the "man of the house" you need to be there for the rest of your family. Thinking of you.

Posted by: Chloe at April 22, 2004 09:25 AM

Adam, you and your family are in my prayers. I am so sorry to hear that your dad had to go through this. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do for your Atlanta folks. Take care of yourself!

Posted by: kelley at April 22, 2004 10:45 AM

Adam,

I just began reading your weblog recently, and thus I can't say that I "know" you too well -- but at the same time, I believe there are many of us who have had the same, or similar, situations occur, and all of us can empathise.

Peace and well wishes to you and your family.

Posted by: teedz at April 22, 2004 11:41 AM

I came here from Tamila's blog and I wanted to let you know how sorry I am. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 22, 2004 01:39 PM

Thinking of and praying for you and your family!

Posted by: Christy (1) at April 22, 2004 09:19 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, I hope you and your family are doing well :)

Posted by: Jenniy at April 23, 2004 08:54 AM