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March 23, 2004My Favorite VisitorI saw her again this weekend. She seemed both happy and sad to see me. She.looked up at me as I came into the room. I have always been amazed at how beautiful her eyes are and how she is able to speak so eloquently without saying a word. Hey eyes sing and proclaim and laugh and, sometimes, they cry. Upon greeting, they did all this at once. I'm sure each were to my credit and my fault. She misses me, as I miss her. As always, we were unable to take the moments to catch up on how our paths are progressing; to share the latest successes, to comfort the latest loss, to share the next sunrise, or linger over a setting sun or a rising moon. Such rewards are not yet ours to have. My heart cried out to tell her where I was and where I will be. It pleaded with me to ask the same of her. Tragically, that is not our lot, not yet. She reaffirmed her affection and I, mine. She is doing well of her own accord and she reminds me that I alone am what is missing in an otherwise happy existence. I told her I am well and safe and miss her fiercely. I told her that I would see her soon and she looked away sadly. As if this was a promise she found difficult to place hope in, lest she be disappointed in how soon or distant 'soon' would be. I asked her how to bear the distance between the two of us until we meet. Those engaging eyes whispered for me look to the stars and see Venus as it leads Orion launching his arrow. "Set your arrow aflight and aim it towards the stars. I am there. Chase your dreams and then we shall see each other soon. Farewell for now." She never turned away, and then she was gone. She went to where she always is; in my past, in my future, in my present. She is here and she is there. She always has been and will be. Even when I have lay there in another woman's arms, there have been more than a few painfully long moments when I have gazed at a ceiling or a sky or a wall or a field and thought about her. The most torturous of all is while laying there I realize I was betraying both her and the woman sleeping beside me. It is a farce I am always a failure at perpetuating for very long after seeing it. Of course, she may well have instances of these of her own. The moment of understanding that the person with you is not the person you seek. Still, she and I approach one another. Our paths grow closer to joining with each second that alternately flies by or creeps along. Her presence near me was fulfilling and hunger inciting. It remains mystifying to me that she can do all this despite never having seen one another, and her eyes I have yet to ever see with my own. When she visits, it is a conversation of souls. When we are together, it will be their union. Who is this mystery woman? She is #84 , of course. Jennifer's History and Stuff linked with Close to Home Comments
Spending my morning searching links and blogs, ran across yours. Wanted to take issue with this post. Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the words of another person. People love to believe that looks are not everything and it's what's inside that counts. Being a realist you should know that most men, myself included have NEVER walked down to the beach, mall, bar or whatever and found the most unattractive girl in there and stated "Man, I bet she has a great personality. I think I want to get to know her" There has to be SOME physical attraction, no matter how slight. So whatcha going to do if all these pretty words she utters turn out to be a line and she looks as if she fell through the ugly forest and every tree limb smacked her in the face on the way down? Posted by: Drew at March 24, 2004 10:50 AMAdam - I have missed you and it is my own fault! Man, you sure write the words to move a person's soul. This post is beautiful! Whoever this woman is, if your life together matches in reality the life you have together in your dreams, she is in for an interesting life! I am a little jealous! Posted by: Christy at March 25, 2004 04:51 PMDrew--uhmmm, I'm not following you...Did you read the post carefully? The dream girl is actually in a dream... Christy--Thanks dear. Can you imagine what my toast at my wedding (if I am so blessed)will be like? ; ) Posted by: Adam at March 25, 2004 05:17 PM*sigh* Sounds very familiar. But guess what --- waking up is inevitable. Dammit all to hell. Posted by: Joanna at March 25, 2004 08:56 PMPost a comment
 
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