A Single Southern Guy in America

November 13, 2003

Erin's Take

(Ed. note: In what may become a regular feature, we'll add reader/commenter Erin's view on the 'Ask Adam' portion of the Kissing Booth. Below is her take on this week's question. You'll see my comments in the comments section, appropriately. Enjoy!)

What's the proper procedure for a first date?

Alright here's my idea of a great first date.

Seeing as though this is the first time you're ever going out with this person, you want to opportunity to be able to talk to them without having that be the only option. Nothing worse then sitting at a table somewhere staring at each other eating, but having absolutely nothing to say. That can ruin a date even if it's solely due to 'first date jitters'.

I'd take my man to a hockey game (or baseball... whatever). This way you're sitting next to each other able to talk to each other, you have something to talk about and when there's an awkward silence, it's filled with screaming profanities at the other team, eating big pretzels, trips to get more beer and waving a huge finger in the air. Let alone that you get the National Anthem test, right there on your first date. If you don't know what that is let me tell ya: You get to see during one song how patriotic your date is, does he take off his hat? Does he belt out the words? Does he KNOW the words? Does he put his hand over his heart? Does he have a good voice? Does he drink his beer? All things that can help the analytical see the future of the relationship.

For the person buying the tickets, I would get the cheapest seats in the house. Not only are you sitting next to the rowdy youngin's, but you can also say whatever you want, stand up and only have four rows behind you that are pissed off. It's also another test. Does he/she bitch about walking up the stairs or do they take them two at a time? If they're still excited then you gotta good one, if their mad about the cheapness, they aren't gonna be satisfied in the long run anyway.

A couple of other good things about the good old game date are: No flowers (and we both know that's an issue... what type? how much? do I get them or not?) No worry about what to wear. Jeans are standard; the only concern is the shirt. If you pick a t-shirt you'll fit right in, a sweater and you'll look adorable, a really nice shirt and you'll look like you're on a date at some sort of game. It also lasts long enough that you don't really have to do anything afterwards, but you could always follow the crowd to the nearest sports bar to celebrate the team's victory or cry over a beer together about their loss. And there's no meal to worry about. You say game it's obvious that you're gonna be snacking all night long. Someone who doesn't like that can eat before the date, but I say a woman who doesn't order a big pretzel with cheese should probably be left home with her salad to watch Lifetime.

Yep, that's mine.

Posted by Adam H at November 13, 2003 06:37 PM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (1)
Tales from a Yeti Suit linked with Gone Fishin'

Comments

I love the sports date. Baseball and hot dogs my friends.....the answer to most of the problems of modern society.

Posted by: beth at November 13, 2003 04:01 PM

Hey! I watch Lifetime and I don't eat salads and I'd LOVE to go to a game for a first date and eat junk food until I am so stuffed I can be rolled out of the stadium. Ah!! Good time!

Posted by: Queen Goddess at November 13, 2003 06:39 PM

Allow me to answer.

I don't know where they came from. You know how bears wade out into a mountain stream and catch a fish for a tasty meal? I feel like a bear that finally ambled over to the edge of the stream and decided to just watch the water rush by for a while and hten *KERSPLASH!!* a big ole juicy salmon just leapt right into my lap. And as a bear, I think oh, wow, aren't I lucky!

Okay, as for the more snobbish and label-conscious; that's just your inevitable march towards Metrosexuality.

A thrifty woman makes you horny? Dude, stay out of my budget meetings.

Calling your friend up to remember Kenneth Cole--is he the guy in the Paris Hilton tape?

As for your comment to Erin, watch it big guy. I saw her first. Heh.

Posted by: Adam at November 14, 2003 12:59 PM

Those midwesterners are known for their frugality. IMHO, smart women are not label conscious - they're style conscious. There is a difference - perhaps you're dating older women? Or maybe you're just growing up. :P

Posted by: Courtney at November 14, 2003 01:04 PM

Spoken like a true Paris Hilton. Have you heard about the new videotape that's going around?

Posted by: Adam at November 14, 2003 02:07 PM

Actually I have, there's this guy I know that's completely obsessed with Paris Hilton and her 'man hands' as he described them. He seems to think he wants a piece of her dirty self, but if I were him, I'd fear breaking her in two upon penetration... not saying that I know whether he's big or not, just hoping!

Posted by: Erin at November 14, 2003 02:15 PM

There's not enough room in a bed for Paris and a guy and a camera.

So kick out the guy.

And I'm not fighting over Erin. If she wants a good looking, well-mannered, prosperous intelligent Southern Gentleman just out of diapers then she can stay in Hotlanta.

If she's looking for a geezer whose about two days from losing all of his teeth, hair and musculature, then she needs to move a little further North closer to her Yankee roots.

Before you make your decision Erin, just remember which one of us is closer to getting that Social Security Check and an AARP discount card.

Also - if you do move here you may have to participate in gladitorial combat with my Army of Maidens(tm). They don't like competition.

Posted by: TheYeti at November 14, 2003 02:37 PM

Erin, I mean the new new Paris tape where she has a threesome--read all about it at Gawker.com. That's a pretty graphic representation of an act with the girl. Damn!

Yeti, just remember that being just out of diapers means it's that much longer before I'll be in Depends, my OLD friend. Heh. And don't think I missed your subtle way of explaining you'd like to see girls fighting each other while jumping on trampolines. I'm on to you bro!

Posted by: Adam at November 14, 2003 03:37 PM

Boys boys..there are plenty of us women who don't require limos and martini bars. One of my favorite dates here in Seattle is the beach date. Couple of sandwiches, bottle of wine, a blanket and a sunset. What more is there?

Posted by: beth at November 15, 2003 05:10 PM

Sex. And a sandwich afterwards. And her remembering to pick up your frickin dry cleaning when she says she is and not sticking you with the bill and then...I guess that's all.

Posted by: TheYeti at November 16, 2003 08:46 PM

Hey! What's wrong with a limo and martini bar date?

My best date was ice skating at the sculpture garden, dinner at Old Ebbitts, and then a walk around the White House during the Christmas season. Then it started to snow... so romantic. And I hate the snow.

Hello Kenneth Cole lovers. I love his shoes. And his glasses, and his clothes... Oh - for you "wanna get what's in style but not at the top prices" people, check out bluefly.com!

Posted by: Amy at November 17, 2003 03:11 PM

There isn't anything 'wrong' with the limo/martini date...I just don't expect it. And I have to say..my Kenneth Cole shoes are my fav's.

Posted by: beth at November 17, 2003 08:38 PM