A Single Southern Guy In America

November 13, 2003

Kiss Me Once, And Kiss Me Twice, And Kiss Me Once Again

Welcome to the weekly collection of the blogosphere’s best articles on relationships and the people involved in them!

If you have a post, column, or article about relationships that you’d like to see featured in the Kissing Booth next week, just email it to kissbooth-at-singlesouthernguy.com. Please include the title of your post, it’s perma-link, and sentence or two describing the piece. Entries are due by 6 EST each Wednesday. To submit a question for “Ask Adam” you can use the same email address(we still need one for next week).

And with a peck on each cheek, and a quick one to the lips, I present to you this week’s Kissing Booth!

Hooters -- Tacky Fantasy? Are the chicken wings any good??
Kicking off the festivities for this week is Lisa Chau with an interesting discussion about Hooters (the restaurant) and why people go there. Personally, I go for the crab legs and to read the articles.

The ACME Guide To Women
Kevin has brought us many observations on fatherhood, but this week offers an insightful guide for men to understand women. I just hope this didn’t come from a discussion about the Paris Hilton tape. Beep!Beep!

Does This Scarf Make My Ankles Look Fat?
Ashia provides a nice companion piece to Kevin's ACME guide on exactly how to react when asked those questions. And she offers a little advice to the woman who is tempted to ask the question.

The Yeti gets all medieval on people who believe in Soul Mates. You can
also scroll down for pictures of what it would be like to wake up in the
morning next to him. I did, and all I can say is, "Be Afraid. Be Very, Very Afraid."

Group Therapy
Jan Lynn has a discussion with someone other than her biological clock at 2 a.m. in the morning—the endless debate ensues: puppies or babies? (We mean real canine puppies here, not those other pups). Oh and congratulations on getting your own domain!

Cry Me A River
QueenGoddess deftly handles a wayward man and makes him cry using only her words. I tell you folks, this lady is not trifling woman. If you’re going after her, you better bring it, and ten of its friends with you.

Do I Need To Draw A Line?
Michael Williams takes us for a brief exploration of how our sense of personal space develops as we age. Go take a look, just don't lean in too far.

From Whence Comes Little Fish
Alex compares himself to caviar in his dating adventures and now has a new girlfriend. That's another one down ladies. In the meantime, remember the caviar is more of a garnish than a main dish.

Crazy Shopping
Kin highlights an article that reports scientific proof that women lose the ability to effectively reason when shopping. As someone who went to the Perimeter Mall last Saturday, I would love to confirm this finding in a number of anecdotes.

Date Shopping
In contrast, Sugarmama describes how she is the more male shopper than her beau is. Eventually, she gets into bridal registries and Bride-zillas. To answer her question regarding why you get so many things as wedding gifts that you will rarely use, I'll point to Kin's post and remind you of this: There is a reason why it's called a briday registry.

Parts of Passion
Anastasia celebrates her 100th post with a discussion of her various passions. Personally, I have a new found passion for gyros.

The Phone That Wouldn't Ring
The Pretty Girl On In The Corner gives us yet another look into guys who don't call gals back. Hey remember the Get The Number story? At least, I didn't make out with the girl and then disappear.

Cosmopolitan, Madam?
Eric recalls a story that is an excellent illustration of what NOT to say upon first meeting a first date. Personally, I prefer the Venom and Blight.

Here A Man, There A Man, Everywhere a Man-Man
BreakUpBabe discusses the various men she has her eyes on. One almost feels sorry for these fellows. They have no clue what kind of sexy blog diva they have on their hands or could have their hands on, as the case may be.

Shared Straws
Enflux has an ever so endearing story of a married couple who are compelled to sip stuff with separate straws.

Slapping Leather
We're not talking about the country dance here, folks. Brandy slaps some more insight on us into the world of spanking erotica. Better be careful folks, if you're not a convert you may soon be!

New Hair Day
Have you been to a hair stylist in Norman, Oklahoma? I haven't but I have family who have (that's where Momma is from). Anyway, Kristin describes how she had to end her relationship with her hair girl, her hair, and how quickly she found another hair girl. Can anyone say, "Rebound Hair Girl."

Howdy, People Call Me Zeke
And your humble host presents you with a blast from the past, the Curious Mating Rituals of the Redneck Male.

Finally, the weekly Ask Adam question comes from a good friend The Yeti. His query is, "What's the proper procedure for a first date?"

My answer is in the extended entry.

What's the proper procedure for a first date?

Well, Yeti, that’s a pretty open-ended question. I liked your discussion of how a date has to be guided, but not directed. It reminded me of the obvious situation I observed when visiting Altus, Arkansas, during the taping of Fox’s new reality show, “The Simple Life.” The producers created the scenario and then placed the subjects into it. It might be more appropriately described as improvised reality.

I see first dates as a very similar dynamic. When planning a first date, you are essentially setting a scenario up for you and your date to act out. The problem with this is something we’ve discussed often—the pitfalls of only putting your best face forward and not revealing your faults early on in the exchange of personalities. However, we all do it. We become the character we want the date to see or that we think the date might prefer. The only remedy to this is simple—your character must be you, who you truly are, razor cuts and all. If you are a gentleman, be that man. If you’re not a gentleman, don’t try to pull it off—you’ll end up looking disingenuous and most women can see right through it. You’ll have crashed during take-off.

Having established that, let’s return to the original question. Is there one cookie-cutter proper procedure for all first dates? I would have to say no. Each first date is different and could have a number of outcomes, all of which you should be prepared to face. However, in setting the scenario, it is important to try to place you and your first date in a scenario that is conducive to both of your strengths. Are you both athletic outdoors enthusiasts? Go for a hike or a mountain climb. Do you both have a deep appreciation for classical music? Go to the symphony. Do you both like to go clubbing and tear up the town? Hit a club. Clearly, there is any number of scenarios you can plan for your first date. The key is knowing enough about your date to plan an appropriate setting. Just like in public speaking you have to hold a clear enough understanding of your audience to clearly communicate. Only on a first date, the audience is you, your date, and more importantly the interaction between you and your date.

A clear understanding then guides the rest of the decisions such as bringing flowers, candy, what to wear, etc. As a general rule, I think a modest bouquet of flowers is a good gesture when it is clearly understood as a date. An added bonus would the inclusion of an item in that bouquet or with it of something you know the date likes, such as their favorite candy or something unique to them. Doing so demonstrates two things; first, that you cared enough to take time out of your day to secure the flowers, and, second, the inclusion of the unique item shows that you pay attention to detail and her special interests. Sadly, in modern dating the notion of bringing a modest gift and/or flowers is no longer a common practice. If you decide not to bring flowers, it won’t cost you any points, but you do lose the bonus points you could have scored.

Posted by Adam H at November 13, 2003 07:21 AM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (2)
Michael Williams -- Master of None linked with Kissing Booth
Jan's Liahona linked with Three Kisses

Links broken for Kevin and BreakupBabe

Posted by: TheYeti at November 13, 2003 09:54 AM

Oops. Actually, they were missing as is the 'Ask Adam.' Links added, 'Ask Adam' en route...

Posted by: Adam at November 13, 2003 10:16 AM

Thanks for the link, this looks like it'll be a pretty cool feature.

Posted by: Michael Williams at November 13, 2003 01:07 PM

Sugarmama's post is missing a link too...

Posted by: Kevin at November 13, 2003 03:40 PM

"On" *ha*

Thanks for the link!

Posted by: Warrior Princess at November 13, 2003 10:46 PM
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The epic ramblings of a young professional in the South in his Quixote-like quest to find ''the One.''


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