A Single Southern Guy in America

October 17, 2003

Relationship Articles

The Yeti linked a great article from the WaPo that describes a lot of what he's been discussing in the comments section. Please do take a few minutes to read it.

And, further reading came via a friend's email who copied and pasted the MSN article. It's main thrust is that in a recent survey of online daters, 64% of the men said they value brains over beauty.

Both are good articles that hit at some of the things the Yeti and I have been describing. If any of you have begun to doubt his or my intentions, please be sure to delve into the archives. The Yeti and I have been writing and cross-linking on these subjects for a long time now and we sometimes forget that newer readers have not read what has gone before and with hundreds of posts it's often hard to find and read some of the background posts. It's easier to find some of his because he has a "best of" section. Perhaps, I need to do the same.

Posted by Adam H at October 17, 2003 06:16 PM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (0)

Comments

very interesting article, and even as a women (go right ahead and slam me all ya feminists) I think there is validity to it.

As women we want to be respected, we want to be admired, we want to be equals, but we also want to be courted, and cherished as women for our vunerable qualities, but all that jumbled together doesn't work. Basically, we want to be treated the way we want, when we want it.

I'm a believer that you choose your 'role' in a relationship. A man who is more of a relationship traditionalist (ie he wants to court a woman) would be best suited to a woman who is willing to be courted whereas an aggressive woman is better suited to a more passive man. Not to say that either style is right or wrong, or that there is anything negative about being an aggressive woman or a passive guy - its a matter of seeking out a partner that compliments your style.

In my life I know so many fabulous single women - women who are strong and independent, women who have great careers and own their own homes and cars and have built lives for themselves. And I know alot of fabulous single men who claim to not be able to find a single woman. The disconnect? Dating rules are a thing of the past. Women call men, women ask men out - women initiate sex. Relationships move at warp speed and then they burn out. This dot-commer generation and the kids coming up behind us have lost the 'mystery' surrounding the getting to know ya stage. The men want women they can cherish, the women want men to treat them like women and take care of their emotional needs, but then they act like men.

HOWEVER...the relationships that I do know of that are working are ones with clearly defined roles. Sure the guys complain at times that their wives or girlfriends are 'high-maintenance' but they cherish them nonetheless. They can truly be 'men' in those relationships and treat their women with love and cherish their feelings and needs. I think this is more in sync with the relationship our parents and grandparents had...women were responsible for the emotional well being of the relationship and men were responsible for the rational, the tangible.

Posted by: sf at October 17, 2003 05:19 PM

Great site guys... Keep up the good work :)

Posted by: Mitch Bruke at May 12, 2004 10:18 AM