A Single Southern Guy In America

August 15, 2003

Interviews A Go Go

Okay, I have another interview to complete and two to conduct.

First, Kate finally placed my questions up, and we'll answer those here.

Second, I will post the questions for The Broad and Alex later this afternoon.

My Interview with Kate

1. There is indeed a right way to make grits. Do you know it?

Kate, you’re from the South and you are correct in noting there is a right way to make grits. But, you neglect to mention that the right way is always a closely guarded family secret. Of course I know. But, I’ll never tell.

2. The subject is "pantaphobic." Discuss.

Pantaphobic is a condition caused by a psychological disorder known as a pantaphobia. It is an unreasonable fear of having to de-pant your partner prior to engaging in intimate relations. It is commonly confused with pantiphobia, another psychological disorder that is the unreasonable fear of panties. Sufferers of pantiphobia are most commonly women who go ‘commando.’

Pantaphobics are typically men or lesbian women who grow incredibly anxious and sometimes terrified when faced with having to unfasten buttonfly jeans or fumble with zippers. A more common form of pantaphobia is experienced by most males who attempt to make sense of the bizarre maze of side zippers and slide fasteners commonly found on women’s dress pants. Personally, I have never suffered from pantaphopia when dealing with blue jeans, but have experienced a few mild cases when dealing with women’s dress pants.

Symptoms of pantaphobia include increased blood pressure. Shortness of breath, dizziness, increased heart rate, blurred vision, temporary loss of libidos, and deflated ego.

3. How now, brown cow?

Bow down before the giver of all chocolate milks.

4. Why does 'reality bite'?

Because it cannot slurp, though it has been known to suck.

5. What do you think of my pajamas?

Those look great…but they’d look better crumpled up on my bedroom floor. Oh wait, Kate’s married. Never mind. They’re really cute and they don’t make your tush look big.

Obligatory rules link

Posted by Adam H at August 15, 2003 02:20 PM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (0)
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The epic ramblings of a young professional in the South in his Quixote-like quest to find ''the One.''


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