A Single Southern Guy In America

August 12, 2003

Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing™

Sugarmama has an interesting re-cap from her 10-year reunion focusing on the addiction women over 20 have to dyeing/bleaching/coloring their hair blonde. To wit—

“I'd rather look smart than dumb. I'd rather my hair look healthy than fried. I'd rather not look like trailer trash (I have seen some bad dye jobs). And I'd rather not bother with monthly visits to the hair salon to have my ‘roots fixed’.”

I am in wholehearted agreement with her. I’ve even noticed some of the guys have begun disfiguring coloring their hair. Why? Why can’t people just be themselves? Why must it take the eventual showing of roots or a intimate liaison to determine whether the carpet matches the curtains? Sugar’s take on this and the overall practice of concealing one’s true appearance is apt—

“I have been operating under the fallacy that natural beauty — that is, what you look like when you roll out of bed in the morning, or go backcountry camping for a weekend without a shower — is true beauty.”

This phrase reminded me of two things. The first was a memory of my college sweetheart. She really needed no make-up to be gorgeous. In fact, I didn't see that make-up made her noticeably more attractive. One summer weekend, we joined my parents at the lake for skiing, tubing, sun, and fun. As we were getting ready that morning, I noticed she began appling make up. Now, I know that some make-up can serve as a a bit of sunblock. However, she was slapping it on like she was on her way to the sorority homecoming tea. I challenged her on it. As often happens for no discernible reason in relationships, it escalated into an argument. My dad even chastised me for giving her a hard time about it. I was made out to be the a**, but my stubborn self wanted to make it clear that I thought she needed no make-up to look beautiful. I learned that day that sometimes just putting on make-up helps some people to feel better about themselves and their appearance.

The second thing Sugarmama's statement brought to mind was the 'coyote ugly' scenario. I think we’ve all heard of the phrase ‘coyote ugly’ from the movie of the same name. The concept being you wake up with someone the next morning and you roll over and realize that this person is so repulsive that you’d much rather chew your arm off than wake them by moving your arm from under or around them. For those of you who have never experienced such a horrid phenomenon, count yourselves lucky and add it to your list of thanksgivings for your evening prayers. However, from my vast experience of dating, I feel compelled to share with you another phrase that describes another phenomenon very similar to the ‘coyote ugly’ scenario.

It is the “Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing™” scenario.

Keep on reading to learn exactly what this concept is….

The ‘Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing™” concept applies to just those kind of women (and men, for that matter) that Sugarmama describes. The troubling aspect of this concept is the ease with which it infiltrates random hook-ups as well as relationships. In short, an other wise gorgeous specimen of a lady and you have consummated intimate relations. As is often the case after said consummation and always the case after a night’s sleep, the real appearance of the person emerges. You awake and look over at the un-made up, formerly coifed Ms. Hyde to your previous evening’s date with Dr. Jekyll as she lies sleeping in all her horrendous reality. Sometimes you may even question for a moment whether this was the same person with whom you spent the evening. Regardless, you have now determined you’d much rather chew your arm off rather than awake the now revealed person you are lying next to.

It is indeed a cruel trick to play on people. Thus, I, along with Sugarmama, encourage all who may venture by this blog to be yourself. Take pride in who you are as you are. If you have some things you're not particularly happy with, take corrective action. Be real and natural so as to avoid any unpleasant complications in the future. It’s really in your best interest. Would you rather the person you’re seeing be in love with the painted, powdered, disguised version of you, or love you for whom you are? I'll take the latter.

Posted by Adam H at August 12, 2003 12:50 PM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (0)

Maybe the surprise you get in the morning is not only caused by a woman's appearance changing, but also because you took the beer goggles off. ;-)

Your dad is correct - don't chastise a girl you are dating for wearing too much makeup. Of course tell her she is beautiful when she isn't wearing any, but if you don't like what she's wearing on a regular basis, then maybe she isn't the right girl for you.

Posted by: sugarmama at August 12, 2003 01:19 PM

I've solved this problem by resolving never to have sex again.

Okay, maybe I haven't decided this so much as all the women in the world got together and decided I wasn't having sex again.

Posted by: TheYeti at August 12, 2003 01:36 PM

Its funny you bring this up. Chesa and I discussed this very thing this morning. I have always wanted to be that cute girl. You know the one that is about 5'4", 110 lbs., cute straight blond hair that always looks good even without washing, and can get away with no make up and somehow not look 12. If you are looking for an example, go to my gym where I'm pretty sure they are cloning them. I am not this girl, and I have finally accepted this fact. The problem was I was always attracted to men who were attracted to that kind of girl. Mainly because all men are attracted to this girl. How can you say we should go out in public without being gussied up? If we did that you wouldn't take us home to be frightened by in the morning!

Posted by: Julia at August 12, 2003 02:27 PM

Julia, maybe men just want us to be naked. They say: take off your makeup and your clothes, baby! Haha. ;-P

Posted by: sugarmama at August 12, 2003 02:40 PM

Sugarmama - Its been my experience that you are absolutly right. Being nekkid definitly makes up for the red lipstick I'm wearing.

Posted by: Julia at August 12, 2003 02:43 PM

Wow--nekkid blog commenting! My favorite!

I s'pose the whole point of my discussion was to point that there is something a bit dishonest when you get all gussied up--and rest assured it cuts both ways--I know I look a lot different when I decide not to shave for the weekend, I wear my favorite old Levis with holes in certain spots and a t-shirt. Course then again I also look different nekkid too.

In any event, the less makeup the better for my lady. Clothing is optional when it's just us. When we're out and about--well, just read the Southern Belle post and that about covers it.

Posted by: Adam at August 12, 2003 02:49 PM

Adam - trust me, we feel the same way! We wish we could get away with less make up, less hair time, less clothes planning and still look this good. I unfortunatly cannot do rumpled chic - aka American Eagle.

Posted by: Julia at August 12, 2003 02:53 PM

Wait. What 'southern belle' post?

Posted by: Julia at August 12, 2003 02:54 PM

Oh. My. Gosh. You missed the SOuthern Belle/Southern Gentlemen posts?!?! Where have you been?

Try looking here---


Posted by: Adam at August 12, 2003 02:57 PM

Sugarmama - I just went to your sight and you are a traitor! You are one of those CUTE girls, the pics prove it. Oh well... if only you were blond, you could go to my gym and fit in/be cloned.

Posted by: Julia at August 12, 2003 02:58 PM

Adam does this mean we get to see you naked? ;)
I admit to being one of those girls who wears makeup...all the time. It annoys Grant that I put makeup on to go to the barn, blah blah blah, I feel good in makeup, my confidence soars and I feel good about myself.

Now I am fairly cute without makeup, but no way am I 5'4 and 110 pounds, though my 5:00 am jogs and aerobics combined with pilates at night are starting to help me reach that goal. *shrugs* If you are happy with you then, cheers to you.

Posted by: Ash at August 12, 2003 03:03 PM

I guess I'll take that as a compliment...? I don't wear much makeup. When I'm not at work I would rather wear jeans and t-shirts. When I am at the gym I am not there to be sexy. So I don't wear revealing gym clothing.

Posted by: sugarmama at August 12, 2003 03:09 PM

The only time I wear makeup is when I have a jury trial. The rest of the time my attitude is if you don't like the way I look, then look somewhere else.

And I _like_ my salt 'n pepper hair. I can't wait until it goes completely gray. Snow on the roof and all that.

; )

Posted by: Rita at August 12, 2003 03:11 PM

And ladies--is it true what I hear? One of the best feelings is coming home from work and being unleashed from the constrictive clothing known as a bra?

Oh, and Ash, I doubt there will be any nekkid shows starring me anytime soon... ; )

Posted by: Adam at August 12, 2003 03:20 PM

I did miss the southern gentleman/lady debate! Thanks for catching me up! I must have been on vacation. And yes, the shoes and the bra are the first things to go with walking in the door. And please don't take me wrong, I know that every woman has beauty in them whether they are 5'4" or 6'5", 110 lbs or 250 lbs I just think it is funny to watch men try to figure this out. Maybe I just have a cynical view because my vanity was bred into me at a very early age.

Posted by: Julia at August 12, 2003 03:24 PM

"because my vanity was bred into me at a very early age"

Kinda scary to think of something being "bred" into anyone at a very early age--I figured all the breeding was done after conception.... ; )

Posted by: Adam at August 12, 2003 03:27 PM

Ok, maybe 'bred' was the wrong word. Its a longer story. The point is, I'm sure my view is warped.

Posted by: Julia at August 12, 2003 03:28 PM

Ok, I've stopped making sense. I'm done on this one!

Posted by: Julia at August 12, 2003 03:29 PM

Now, Julia, you're not gonna let one wisecrack from me to stop you from commenting! Heh.

Posted by: Adam at August 12, 2003 03:31 PM

Adam, my hopes are crushed.

And you are so right about the bras! I come home and off it comes, along with the majority of the rest of my clothing. I prefer panties and t-ee shirt while I'm home.

Posted by: Ash at August 12, 2003 03:43 PM

Well, I do get my hair colored... not to be blonde, but I see it as art. That might sound crazy, but that is how I look at it. I don't just do over the counter bottle coloring like many folks, I actually make an appointment with a stylist. I like streaks in my hair... not highlights... like 2-3 inch streaks.. all different colors.

To be honest, that is the only cosmetic thing I do. I don't wear any makeup - except for mascara and lip gloss. I am pretty much low maintenance, so, I wouldn't classify girls that get their hair colored as a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing OR as a high maintenance or whatever else you want to call it.

It is simply something I enjoy doing and look forward to. Something I do for myself and no one else.

That's all I have to say.... oh, and thanks to me having great hair.. it only takes me 13-17 minutes to get ready from start to finish!

Posted by: ho at August 12, 2003 03:49 PM

The comment by "ho" (funny nick, btw) interests me. She isn't trying to look "fake natural" by tricking people into thinking she is a natural blonde. She doesn't fit the stereotype.

Yes, bras go BYE-BYE after work!

Posted by: sugarmama at August 12, 2003 04:25 PM

I can't help but think that right about now, lady bloggers bras across the country are being loosed and are falling to the floor. *sigh*

Posted by: Adam at August 12, 2003 05:10 PM

*pats Adam* Awwww, do ya want ya gal to come home and tear her bra off? OR are you just upset and angered at the opressed boobs around the country?

Posted by: Ash at August 12, 2003 05:22 PM

Well both actually.

Given a little more thought, that's a cause I could get behind--End Boob Oppression! Free the Boobs!

Posted by: Adam at August 12, 2003 05:27 PM
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