A Single Southern Guy In America

July 25, 2003

The Hazard of Being Out-ed and Farewell

This item is a word of caution to the locals who have been visiting the blog and for my fellow single bloggers. When you are out-ed and then say things like :

I have developed a complicated code to protect their identities. Only they or the people who witnessed the event know whom I am talking about.

You will bring unwanted attention to yourself. When I made that statement, I had hoped it would discourage folks from worrying about who the various jumbles of letters represent. Yeah, right. It has had the reverse effect. It makes those who know you in real life seek to find out just who it is Iím Helping Out©, crushing on, etc. Itís turned into a gosh darned Blues Clues about Adam!?!? For whatever reason, I stupidly forgot one of the central tenets of small towns---it is everyoneís obligation to be in everyone elseís business. To witó

Adam: So what do you think of the blog?
Local A: Iím still trying to figure out who that one girl is.


Local B: If you walk out of here with someone, itís automatically assumed youíre sleeping with Ďem.
Local C: Hell, I guess, Iíve slept with most everyone in this bar in that case.
Adam: I guess Iíve slept with both of yíall then.

In a talk with a friend yesterday, I got more than a little agitated. Apparently, the local gossip is that I am currently seeing three to four people at the same time. Iím the ladies man of this little town, or so it is rumored. My friend either overheard or was told it several times over the course of a couple of days. I asserted my innocence, and my friend did not believe me.

Keep on reading to find Adam acting out of character and the farewell messages...

From reading the Funk post, youíll know of all the days, yesterday was not one to throw false accusations my way without naming names of who said it and who I was allegedly seeing. Then I did something fairly out of character for me. I told my friend it was bullshit, I was tired of folks lying, getting in my business, talking about things they know nothing of, and I damn sure didnít appreciate my friend not giving me the full details of the accusations and the accusers. Some friend, eh? Worse and even more out of character, I hung up on the so-called friend.

Letís be clear here, as already written here (read the last sentence and the italics below that), Iím a one woman man. Whether it Helping Folks Out©, NotDatingô, or dating as traditionally conceived, I am a one-at-a-timer.

After the ill-fated conversation, I went for a drive to calm down and figure out just what the hell was going on. After a short while, it hit me. I have become the guessing game flavor of the moment. Of course, the friend had heard these things. I thought about calling back and apologizing, but remembered quickly what had really upset meóthat the friend would not give me the details of what folks are saying about me. (I did talk to the friend after I wrote this and apologized for hanging up, but reminded friend that itís still wrong to keep things like that from me).

Fellow bloggers, especially if in close social circles, be very careful about being out-ed. It will cause you off-line headaches. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time in the blogosphere. Iíll still be by to visit you frequently.

For the many gentle readers, you have honored me so with your visits, comments, and your emails. I will truly miss you all.

To the locals who frequent this blog, I truly hoped youíd find the writing and the stories entertaining enough alone, without having to try to figure who is who. I canít stop you from talking and speculating, but itís not important really. Because of this situation arising as it has, this will be the last post. Iíll leave the blog up for a few days and then Iíll take the whole thing down.

Out.

Posted by Adam H at July 25, 2003 10:44 AM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (2)
Gut Rumbles linked with trauma
Res Ipsa Loquitur linked with Bad Day at Black Rock
Comments

(((((HUGS))))) I will miss you.

Posted by: tam at July 25, 2003 11:20 AM

You've got to be kidding!?!?!?!? Adam, I know I don't know you that well, but I can't believe you're giving this up so quickly!!! It just doesn't seem like you.

Well brother, I will surely miss you! :(

Posted by: Christy at July 25, 2003 11:47 AM

I've been there and I understand......

Posted by: h at July 25, 2003 12:33 PM

It will be interesting to hear about "John," who lives in the smaller southern town of Boothill, Kentucky."

How does that sound?

Posted by: TheYeti at July 25, 2003 03:06 PM

Young man, don't you dare quit. I like The Yeti's idea. You're too good to stop writing. Nothing says you can't do it somewhere else anonymously...no dishonor there either.

Remember, the question is...

"Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them."

And the answer is....

"Do not go gently into that dark night."

How's that for some Southern melodrama from your favorite Arkie blogmudda?

Posted by: Rita at July 25, 2003 04:53 PM

F*ck. This sucks.

When you start blogging under a pseudonym, don't forget to email me, okay?

Courtney

Posted by: Courtney at July 25, 2003 06:58 PM

:(
Man...this sucks.

Posted by: Kin at July 26, 2003 06:48 PM

I do NOT let on that I have a blog at all to personal friends & acquaintances. A friend kinda knows but I tried to discourage her from actually "finding" it. So I know where you're coming from, Adam.

I had two ex boyfriends reading my blog, and seeing as how I gripe about one, and was moonsick about the other...then they BOTH proceeded to start giving me advice...and being nasty about that advice...I moved.

I bought a completely NEW domain. The drawbacks: if you wanna stay a part of your webrings/cliques, you have to change your url with them. If there is someone smart enough to think to look at those lists, and some people are, they will find you (one of my exes did...but he stays away for the most part after a huge tongue lashing). So I changed my url on webrings, cliques, had blogtree delete my old # and I resubmitted...all that. Yea, it's a pain but if you like to blog, it can be done. I let everyone who had me on their blogrolls know.

I look at blogging as the chance to vent and offer my opinions that can only be understood by people who don't "know" me. People who do think they know it all about you, when they don't necessarily.

I just wanted to give you an "option." It can be done. Just watch the meta tags, too! lol

Posted by: Christy at July 26, 2003 11:47 PM

NEVER let anyone shut you down. If they don't understand that you're "writing" and leave it at that...it's THEIR loss. Don't let it be yours.

Posted by: Da Goddess at July 27, 2003 02:23 AM

Dood are you gonna let a couple of yahoos shut your blog down!?!?!!? Come on dood you rock and last time I looked we are still a Free-Speech Republic. You can say WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO!!!!!!!!! I hate rednecks that have nothing to do with their time (when there's no SEC football) than to get into other people's bidness. From one Southern Boy to another "BUCK THE FUCK UP!!!" Do a 180 and slash the WHOLE TOWN with your blog. Be the local pariah. Every town needs one and you ain't no "Otis". You have balls. Don't hand them over so easily. db

Posted by: DaneBramage at July 27, 2003 01:42 PM

Adam......sigh.

Posted by: Marci at July 28, 2003 09:51 AM
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The epic ramblings of a young professional in the South in his Quixote-like quest to find ''the One.''

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