A Single Southern Guy in America

July 14, 2003

An Advanced Lesson in Helping Folks Out©

After some time of using the Helping Each Other Out� program, I've discovered an advanced level that only the most skilled practitioners should use. This discovery stems from extensive field research, much meditation on the difference between a Helper� and a Player(playa), and incorporation of the key elements of the NotDating� program.

The first point is that it is more difficult to be a Helper� than a Player(Playa). Helping Each Other Out� tiptoes dangerously close to the P way. However, it focuses on honesty and openness as opposed to the deception and con jobs of the Player(Playa).

Truth often hurts. I first coined the term brutal truth� when I was a pup in high school (yes, that's right, I have spent many years developing the Helping Each Other Out� program). Because truth has a brutal aspect to it at times, it makes the Helping Each Other Out� program more difficult. In most awkward, difficult, or conflict situations, lying can be very appealing and easy. It's a simple painless way out-until it catches up with you. For the Player(Playa), lying is the expedient answer of the moment. A Helper� cannot give an expedient answer that is untrue. An honest answer is required.

When an honest answer is delivered, a practitioner of Helping Each Other Out� risks unpleasantness. A successful Helper� will have deployed the systems so skillfully (in most cases) to not have the unpleasant question asked. But, when asked, the true Helper�s will always give an honest answer.

Let's look at a few examples-

HELPER�

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: You know I am enchanted by you. You know I love being with you, but we're not at a "love" point yet.
G: I know. I'm just checking where we're at.
*passionate kissing commences*

PLAYER(PLAYA)
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Darlin', I thought I knew what love was until I met you. A whole new world was opened to me the moment I first moment I saw you.
G: *ohhhhhh*
*passionate kissing commences*

Advanced HELPER�
G: Tell me you love me.
B: I love you.
G: Say it like you mean it.
B: I love you.
G: Ohhhhhh..I love you too-so muchhhh.
B: Oh darling.
G: Why don't you just move in with me?
B: I'm not so sure your roommate/kids/other person would like that so much.
G: I think they'd love it.

*Passionate lovemaking continues*

BUT WAIT---There's more.

Conversation the next day between Advanced HELPER� and Girl:

G: I talked a lot of sh*t last night�
B: You sure did-what's your Top 10 things you said last night?
G: What do you mean?
B: Of the things you said-What's your top 10 things you said last night?
G: Oh-
B: I don't what my top 10 of things you said last night are, but I know what my #1 was.
G: Oh, yeah?
B: Yeah, what was your #1?
G: I guess it was when I said I wanted to marry you. (giggles)
B: (chuckles) Yeah that was pretty good.
G: So what was yours?
B: The whole "why don't you just move in?" thing.
*Both laugh*
G: I'm sorry-it was just what I felt at the moment.
B: No, it's perfectly fine. You were honest in the moment and so was I. That's what we promised each other.
G: Yeah�.
B: Yeah�
G: So what are you doin' later?

There you have it. Let take a look at each scenario.

HELPER�
Honest question, honest answer, honest response. However, it's a bit clumsily executed. It is because the "Do you love me?" question has been addressed in advance. The honest can very easily emanate stuttered and stoppingly.

PLAYER(PLAYA)
Bald faced lie. Gets the job done for the moment. The residual effects (depending on the girl) could range from never another call to her becoming the 'stalker girl.' You don't want either scenario.

Advanced HELPER�
Heat of the moment answers. Already locked in passion. The KEY: The morning/day after talk is not awkward. It's fun and leads to MoreSex�.

When you compare the three examples, it is easy to see the most desirable of conducting your liaisons. In the first there is awkward honesty. The second offers an untruth that can lead to future trouble or no further additional liaisons (let's face it-half the time a woman hears a guy utter those 3 words; she bails). The third allows honesty amidst passion, intensified passion, and pleasant, comfortable, and relaxed morning/day after talks and MoreSex�. The final analysis shows the clear winner to be the Advanced HELPER� for both themselves and their partner.

(Note: It is 'partner'; not 'partners.')

Posted by Adam H at July 14, 2003 10:45 AM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (0)

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