A Single Southern Guy in America

March 07, 2003

Let's Talk About Sex

More Compelling Blog Content

I introduced my dear friend TB to my blog not long ago and asked her to give me some ideas for improving the content and thereby drawing more visitors to the site. She had a one-word answer: Sex. It is her opinion that I�m going to have to broach the subject of sex to garner more interest and traffic, etc. What�s the advertising mantra again? Sex Sells? Sell sex? I have resolved for over a week now to broach the issue of sex since heretofore I have allowed the blog to remain lily-white clean of any references to the subject. I guess it goes back to my nature of never engaging in the whole �kiss and tell� game.

But let�s be realistic. It�s a big part of being single whether you do have sex or not. I�ve been in the �or not� column for a little while now and like any red-blooded male, I�d love to be in the other column. However, I�m just not the guy that will jump over into the �having� column just to have. If you�ve seen the movie Coyote Ugly then surely you remember what the phrase meant. I am not inclined whatsoever to jump into the �having� column only to be greeted with that morning after prospect. Besides, why screw up a relationship you�re enjoying or screw up someone else�s perception of the relationship with pre-mature entry into that phase of a relationship.

So, yes, I confess. I�ve been there and I like it. A lot. I sometimes slightly regret the former, but rejoice at the latter. If it weren�t for the latter I might seriously question my status as a red-blooded heterosexual. The former, though, makes me understand the whole �forbidden fruit� concept. There�s even a circle of thought that Eve didn�t actually eat an apple. Rather, that whole section of Genesis is a metaphor for Satan tempting Eve into the first recorded instance of intercourse. This is supposed to explain the murderous future of Cain. I don�t think I�ll come down on the fruit or the metaphor side of the issue, but I can fully understand that once you cross that line into the �have� column, you almost always want to go back. And back. And back. And back. And back. You get the picture.

So absolutely, I want to go back. However, I suppose I�m a little more picky about how I want to go back. The whole sex for sex�s sake idea doesn�t appeal to me so much. I prefer the orderly framework of monogamy to the kaleidoscopes of one-night stands and various �hook-up� buddies. Sadly, I had to learn all this the hard way.

Maybe, I�m finally maturing enough to understand the finer points of sex and relationships. For some reason I prefer to wake up with someone and want to hang around, have pillow talk, and then go on with my day. I detest the awkward feeling of waking, hoping not to wake the other person while I quickly and quietly try to ease out of the room. Or waking and wondering how long is appropriate before I wake them and begin to politely suggest that it is time for them to go with hollow promises of �I�ll call you later.�

In any event, I like it. I want it again. I want it on appropriate terms and not the strange circumstance of a �hook-up� or one night stand. I�ve become particularly guarded about those scenarios as you can see from my post about last Friday and the unlikely trip to ID�s house. I still have not and cannot reconcile the idea of pre-martial sex with my Southern Baptist beliefs, but as all of you who have read this blog for a while know that I also haven�t attempted to reconcile the �no drinking, no dancing� planks either.

I suppose in the final thought about it, sex is best enjoyed in the framework of a loving relationship. It may or may not be better in the context of marriage, but I wouldn�t know and I hear conflicting reports from those in that context. Given my luck, by posting this I have set myself up to completely violate all that I have just written due to weird, unusual, and odd circumstance.

Posted by Adam H at March 7, 2003 07:58 AM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (0)

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