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March 18, 2003Saturday part III: Toughman 2 and a Cougar Too
However, we did get to see the most intriguing match-up of the evening. One was a forty-six year old CFO for a non-profit cancer research center. Opposing him was a forty four year old—get this—Church of Christ preacher!! All the contestants enter the room through a curtained area in the corner of the audience area to a music of their choice. Given the Church of Christ’s famed prohibition of instrumental music in their worship services, I immediately wondered what music would a Church of Christ preacher choose to play as he entered the ring. He is announced and I began to listen intently. No music, but there was some sort of sound. A low rumble was heard again and again. The preacher had opted for a recording of rolling thunder as his entry music. Sheesh. We went back to her place and watched television. My buddy EK called to say that the crawfish boil party was winding down, did I want to go out somewhere. As I had told CY that I might be open to joining her and a group of friends at some sports bar for the Saturday karaoke, I told him sure let’s go with these folks to that bar. I had seen this bar before. It’s called All-Stars and is in Sherwood. I had even thought about going in there sometime because it looked like a perfect little dive to get a co’ beer at and observe the locals. I was about to get my chance. The impetus of this visit to All Stars was CY had told me she was going because her sister was going to sing karaoke that night. In reality, it was her ex-sister in law, along with her ex-mother in law. Apparently, when she divorced their brother and son. EK had agreed and picked me up at BB’s and off we went for a little adventure. We walked in at the same time as CY and company and immediately knew we were in for a redneck delight evening. I grabbed a beer and EK secured some water (he was still reeling from his first ever hangover the weekend before). As minutes grew to a half hour, EK was ready to roll out of the little dive and I was becoming thoroughly amused at the customers and our little group of friends. After a while, Iwas exchanging the fearless stares of several of the dive’s patrons, several of which I am certain already had children out of wedlock or were seriously pursuing the state. Suddenly, while exchanging the stares, one of them moved and in my direct eye path was a fifty-something thin, blonde, COUGAR!! She immediately smiled the biggest “Sc**w me” look I have EVER seen and I quickly turned away. Within a few minutes, I am in the midst of an energetic story I’m sharing with EK when I fell a tug on my elbow from the dance floor directly behind me. I ignore it. Another tug. I look over my shoulder and, Damn, it’s the COUGAR! She drunkenly apologizes for interrupting and before she can say, “but would you like to …,” I say “that’s okay” and turn back to EK. Several songs and karaokes later, I am talking to EK again and am saying, “I owe you one on that last one. I didn’ even see that Cougar coming.” As I glance up to keep watch, I continue with, “But I do this time. I’m now acting like exciting, energetic story, lots of hand gestures, animated facial features, etc.,etc, etc.” EK says, “What are you talking about?” “She’s heading this way and I’m acting like I’m telling an important story to ward her off, hence all the gestures and excited talking manner.” Too late. The Cougar is on me, ready to dance to a ‘bump and grind’ kind of song. Reluctantly, I go with her. I extend my left hand to my side at shoulder level the way a proper dance is conducted. Within a few seconds, she has put away the left hand and wrapped herself around me and commenced to grinding herself into me as if there were no tomorrow. At each time we circle around to where I’m facing our group of friends, I return their laughs and teases with a look of bewilderment. By the end, she may as well have hopped on me, wrapped her legs around my hips and dry humped me. She did attempt to lock me into a kiss on several instances which I deftly avoided with being too obvious. Mercifully, the song finally ended and I returned to my friends. EK is ready to leave and does after we are certain that CY will take me back to BB’s. I end the night at All-Stars doing in impromptu karaoke duet of “Picture” (Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock) with CY’s sister. We proceed to an IHOP where we repeat the performance, get eats, and then mercifully I am dropped at BB’s around 4 a.m. where I finally collapse onto her couch and commence sleeping. Sunday, BB forced me awake around noon and said “c’mon boy, we’re going driving. Where do you want to go—Hot Springs or Cabot? I preferred Hot Springs. We went to Cabot. However, the real key is what we drove in—she had borrowed her dad’s Benz SLK 320 red convertible roadster. Ohhhhh, Yeah. Ohhhhh, Yeah. Ohhhhhhhhhh, Yeah. We tool around all afternoon. I revisit Indian Lake, a place I haven’t been in at least fifteen years. The last time we went I was maybe 10 years old and as we were leaving an afternoon summer thunderstorm blew in suddenly. We loaded into my dad’s truck with my sister, a neighbor kid, and I in the back protected by a camper shell. The truck’s antenna was hit by lightning. The bolt passed about two feet behind me as it traveled to the ground. Rarely had I ever been so scared. We visited many of the new developments in the area, several of her friends, and her boss, the Mayor of Cabot. We finally get back to her apartment, go to eat at U.S. Pizza and return just in time for me to return home. While I was at BB’s parent’s house returning the Benz to her father, our senior v.p. of sales called to brief me on our project for this week. I have to get back down to the company to get the company car, leave at 8 a.m. on Monday to return to Little Rock to gather intelligence for a comparative marketing analysis the senior v.p. of sales and I are completing. After getting all the information, we will compile it into a spreadsheet for our meeting with buyers on Thursday. Which is when I learn I’ll be heading back to the Northwest on Wednesday p.m. (are you hearing me Rita and Mike?). Post-script: Never did spend anytime with BK, missed the sushi diner and the Senate staffer, but did make it to Barnes and Noble yesterday afternoon. Picked up the hardcover of the Reagan love letters (a steal at $5.98!; the paper back was around $14) Posted by Adam H at March 18, 2003 02:49 PM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (0)Comments
Just curious, how old are you? Posted by: Lana at August 12, 2003 11:28 AMPost a comment
 
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