A Single Southern Guy in America

June 18, 2003

"Helping Folks Out"©

Since finding and then joining the blogosphere, I’ve learned so much more about what goes on in the minds of women. I confess that at one time I would secretly read Cosmo or other slick cover women’s magazines my girlfriends had. The reason: I wanted to know what went on in the minds of women or, at least, what these magazines told women about how their minds were supposed to work. However, in reading the ladies’ blogs, I’ve gleaned so much more.

These glimpses into their inner thoughts and feelings show an inquisitive fellow, in the least, a rough road map, of how a lady thinks, what she expects, what she wants, what she hopes for, and what she needs. Particularly that they have ‘needs’ every bit as much as men. For the most frank and candid discussion of a woman’s needs, go read just about any of Jezebel’s posts. A close runner-up is BreakUpBabe. Specifically when discussing ‘needs,’ women in my age group seem to be much more in touch with their needs than the girls I dated in college.

I’ve also been thinking about my (now moved) buddy B.M.’s common phrase, “man you ought to help her out”© and more specifically the entire “helping out”(C) concept. It seems there is an awful lot of “helping out”© going on lately. “Helping out”© is similar to the corollary I discussed in a previous post. That is, you can have a hook up kind of relationship that both parties keep secret by mutual agreement. Perhaps, I should re-name the corollary the “helping out”© clause.

So, if a lady has needs, a man has needs, neither are attached, and both agree that it is solely to “help each other out”© with each other’s needs, is it a bad thing?

I think most folks these days would answer somewhere in the range of “Sure, Why not?” all the way to “Hell No, it isn’t a bad thing!” I suppose in practice I’m more of a “Sure, why not?” type, but I don’t think in my heart I am so enthusiastic. Sex should be a special thing shared between two people who are special to each other. In a sense, the entire “helping out”© concept seems to devalue the entire sexual experience. By definition, sex cannot be special if it’s also casual. The “helping out”© isn’t quite the casual, run of the mill, met her or him at the bar and went home and f***ed, but it certainly isn’t the special and intimate sojourn with someone who is special to you.

Alas, I have no one around currently that rises to that level of special to me.

Alas, I also have needs.

Alas, alas, and alas again, TGR had needs last night. She called me up after I left the pub to see if I could "help her out."©

It was my duty, as an American.©

I don't want to spend the rest of my life "helping ladies out."© I want to find that special one who I am special to and then make love the way it was intended to be made.

All told, my spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Note 2: Yes, I added © because The Yeti and others are using NotDating(tm). No, I can't figure out how to do the raised small letter tm or the nice circle copyright symbol.

Posted by Adam H at June 18, 2003 08:18 AM ~ Link Cosmos | Trackbacks (1)
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